10 Interesting Relationship Facts
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1. Love hurts just like Ralph Tresvant told us.
Who’d have thought the dude who brought us possibly the 3rd gayest song in history behind only Carl Thomas’ “Emotional” and The Village People’s “YMCA” would be spitting so much knowledge. Real talk, if you’ve never been in pain, you’ve never been in love.
2. If the woman isn’t smiling when you meet her, you should keep on walking.
While chicks who smile too much might look like The Joker in The Dark Knight, the fact is that chicks who are scowling will get you dead and probably don’t believe in fellatio or Christmas.
3. You should always feel comfortable with the person you’re with.
If it ever feels like you have to walk on eggshells or temper what you say, it’s time for an intervention or a resolution. Word to Aaliyah. RIP.
4. Try not to live with regrets.
Regrets f*cking suck. You never want to wish you had said something more or done something else. Plus, the Jay-Z song off of Reasonable Doubt was dope but truth is, it was the gayest song on that entire album. And nobody wants to be associated with the gayest song on an album. Except maybe Jay-Z who ALSO made the song “Lucky Me” on Volume 1 which might be the absolute fruitiest hiphop song in history.
5. Do not kick squirrels in the presence of somebody you’re interested in.
While I’m not a big fan of squirrels, you never know who is and who’s watching. If you kick a squirrel you might miss out on the woman or man of your dreams because, well, they love squirrels and bushy tails. F*ck bushy tails personally, but hey, some people believe in PETA and their causes. Me? My closet looks like a pet cemetery. Word to Cam’ron.
6. Don’t try to control love.
Let love control you. Well, feelings at least. The more you try to control the dating process the more everything will go haywire and somebody will want to stab you with a pitchfork and two sets of matches from a Marriott hotel out in Poughkeepsie. I’ve never been there but I imagine it sucks monkey nuts.
7. If you don’t feel a spark initially, and you’re a woman, take a chance on love. If you’re man, keep on walking.
I know, double standards are a motherf*cker but the truth is, men can grow on women. The opposite is not true. If a dude isn’t feeling a chick upfront, there’s no chance in Hades that she’ll grow on him unless he lives in a Midwestern city like Omaha where I imagine Black booty is at a premium. Of course if you’re into snow bunnies and cornstalk love then maybe this is all moot. But really, I have no clue what I’m talking about right now anyway so hi-five an Amish dude.
8. Communication is at least the mailbox key.
Which is why dating a deaf or mute person is not going to work out so well. Not that they can’t communicate. What with technology the way it is nowadays, a deaf person can have a full fledge text relationship with somebody of sound (PUN) organs without missing a beat. But really, share your feelings and your thoughts as much as possible except on Sundays and during the NBA Playoffs. Sure we all know that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but when was the last time that Oprah or a grown arse man who didn’t dress in drag told you this? It’s been a long time. Word to Rakim.
9. Lie until you have to tell the truth.
Whoa. Did I just say lie? Yes he did. If you have somebody worth loving, then sometimes you are going to have to reframe your convos in such a way that is disingenuous to how you feel. As long as you’re not lying about cheating, making sure that the way you present info helps the other person feel better about themselves is a small price to pay. Like paying for shoestrings in Taiwan. But, if they won’t let you live or be great and keep forcing the issue, well, f*ck them up against the wall and make them check the rhyme. What does that mean? It means that Rock The Bells with ATCQ is here this weekend in Maryland and I won’t be there. Go me.
10. Realize that nobody will love you as much as you love yourself.
If you’re relying on somebody else to make you feel good about yourself than you are hustling backwards. People are inherently selfish and out for their own good first and foremost. Do you first and let other’s fall in line. If they don’t fall in live, electric slide their arses right on down the road. And um stay away from too much plastic surgery. Word to Michael Jackson. RIP and happy birthday, ninja.
Those are some facts from me. From the heart. What are some relationship facts that you subscribe to and follow at all times?